Ow, I Need Help in the Kitchen!

My therapist half-jokingly told me I could use the OCD-list-fiend part of my brain to work out the inefficiencies I have in my day so I can best maximize my energy. I'm a total slob and could give a crap less about details (this page has a description of Pure Obsessional OCD, which is the type I seem to fall into), but I have a thing about making lists and charts that's beyond the usual. They're just so nice and tidy...


I made a pretty awesome, husband-approved dinner tonight that left me in too much pain but so delightfully full. Having had a sleep-a-thon today after the multi-state car ride on Saturday, I had a little energy to use.


Cooking felt laborious, but making a mental list of what I did and how much time was spent actually cooking made me realize how much time I waste while making dinner. I get exhausted from cooking, so I avoid cooking. I avoid cooking, and I end up eating Annie's macaroni and cheese and chewable iron with Vitamin C for dinner.


Here is my list of kitchen pitfalls:

1. Not knowing the location of anything. There is no reason to spend five minutes looking for salt. 
2. Not delegating. If my husband wants dinner, there are plenty of tomatoes and a sink waiting for him.
3. Large things in the way. I have a 900 square foot house. Portable dishwashers are a moot point if they stay in front of the sink permanently. 
4. Failure to organize tools and ingredients prior to prep and cooking. Grabbing multiple items from the fridge and utensil drawer in one or two swoops is more effective than the pseudo-square dance I have going on at dinnertime. 
5. I need a anti-fatigue mat. Or a levitation device.
   

On the plus side, there are things I do that are helpful:

1. I use a knife only found in nightmares. Or Eastern Asia. I think I read somewhere that knives that allow rocking are easier on the hand joints. Those are expensive. I opted to hit the Eastern Asian market and buy a cleaver (Cleverest Son's Wife brand, cost around fifteen bucks). So sharp and heavy I barely have to do anything. It's like the knife falls through my potatoes. It and a paring knife meet all of my knife needs. 
2. Speaking of knives, I keep the cutting to a minimum. As long as the food fits in my mouth, it is cut small enough.
3. Mandolins are awesome. They slice. Good for potatoes. 
4. I bother to wear shoes. I had to drop a plate on my foot to become diligent about this. Crocs are good because they can be wiped off. I have the medical ones that are even more atrocious than the usual ones, but they're good for around the house.
5. Screw the Earth, throw those plates away! I use paper plates and plastic forks. Yes, Mother Earth weeps during my family meals. I never thought I would be the person who uses paper plates, but it's part of my effort to stay away from takeout places that use more packaging. Yep, that's how I sleep at night.
   

My task list for the week:

1. I need easy access from my stove to salt, pepper, and vegetable bouillon; olive and Canola oil in bottle and spray form; spoons and spatulas; and paper towel.
2. Other spices need to be closer to the stove.
3. Dry goods need to be closer to eye level - I'm short, so chin up slightly level is more accurate.
   

Czech Fried Cheese

I spent a few weeks in Prague during my time as an undergraduate. Being a vegetarian can be obnoxious, but even more so in Central Europe. The vegetariánská label was applied to things such as turkey sandwiches. I ate a lot of bread until I was told about the vegetarian-friendly places to go (Which didn't charge for water unlike a lot of restaurants). Prague is large and diverse in populations, so eating vegetarian ended up getting easier quickly. I'm pretty sure I ate pork fat on more than one occasion, but I kept it to a minimum and that made me happy enough.

You can get fried cheese (smažený sýr in Czech) from both street vendors and restaurants in Prague and other places in Central Europe. Sometimes I got Edam and other times I got Hermelin. Hermelin is like Camembert. I don't like cheese with that acrid taste, but I could do fried Hermelin. Edam seemed to get served on a bun like a burger, and Camembert was served on a plate with potatoes and sauerkraut. Both came with Czech-style tartar sauce.

Tonight's dinner wasn't exactly authentic, but it tasted good which is the whole point.

Here is the finished product:

Yeah, the picture sucks. I used a made-for-prepaid phone for the picture. Need to add "Easy access to camera" to my task list. My husband made fun of me for using a paper plate. My sense of professionalism is hit-or-miss, what can I say.

Czech-Style Fried Edam with Boiled Potatoes, Cucumber and Tomato Salad, and Sauerkraut

Time: 30 minutes-ish. Twice as long if your kitchen is trashed or will feel half as long if you delegate everything to someone else and just make sure they don't set the house on fire as you sip on a nice cup of tea or one of the drink pairings listed below.

This will sound overwhelming, and it probably is on a lot of days. But if you're having a good day, why not fry some cheese?

The List

Tools:
1 pan for deep frying
1 knife for chopping
1 rocket blender
1 cutting board or some upside down paper plates to use in lieu of a cutting board
1 casserole dish
1 jar opener
3 small bowls (you could probably swing sandwich bags instead)
1 disposable food container
Measuring spoons (I rarely use them unless I'm baking, but whatever works for you)
Paper towels

For the cheese:
1 serving of cheese per person (the size of six dice is one serving)
1 whole beaten egg
1/2 cup flour
6 ground Ritz crackers per cheese serving
Enough oil to deep fry - use something with a mild taste like Canola/Rapeseed or soybean. Maybe sesame if it isn't toasted. Olive oil a definite no here.

For the cucumber salad:
2 large cucumbers
10 tiny tomatoes
1 tablespoon of olive oil
2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar (It's what I had laying around, white or apple cider works just as well)
1/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon minced garlic

For the potatoes:
2 pounds of fingerling potatoes
3 tablespoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of dried chopped onion
1/4 teaspoon of minced garlic
Salt and pepper to taste
Water for the bottom of the dish

For the sauerkraut:
Silver Floss sauerkraut in a glass jar. Or whatever strikes your fancy.

The How-To

I used Edam because it doesn't turn into liquid when melted. Rind was removed from Edam and the Edam was coated in flour, then one whole egg, and then pulverized Ritz cracker crumbs (I didn't feel like dealing with breadcrumbs, and hey, why not break out the rocket blender). Fried for two minutes on one side and thirtyish seconds on the other. The coating came off when flipping, because I'm a bitchin' cook that way. Luckily hot cheese is sticky and I could nudge the coating back onto it. You will need to drain the cheese on paper towel.

You could probably use other mild cheeses if Edam isn't your thing. Swiss comes to mind. I was craving Edam, but I'm not sure if I'll buy it again for this unless I can snag it at Aldi for cheap.

Moving clockwise, those are two roughly cut cucumbers and some grape tomatoes from my husband's garden with 1/4 teaspoon pre-minced garlic, some olive oil, a little water, and some balsamic vinegar. We didn't get a lot of tomatoes because of the drought. Some started growing two weeks ago, and I cut the parts of the vine that had green tomatoes off of the plant because it could have frost anytime. Some of the tomatoes were a little smaller than a peanut. I did put those in the salad along with the bigger ones, but you can't see them in the crappy picture.

I put the vegetables in one of those disposable storage containers, topped with the oil, vinegar, water, and garlic, covered the container, and shook every so often as I was cooking other things.

At six o'clock there are fingerling potatoes in minced garlic, dry chopped onion (found in spice aisle), and olive oil. The potatoes came in a small mesh bag. I rinsed them in the bag, which saved some time. I cut them in half or thirds depending on size, and put them in a casserole dish. Added some water and the seasoning, stirred, cooked in the microwave for ten minutes, stirred again, and cooked for another six minutes. The amount of time it takes for you to cook the potatoes can vary a lot. My microwave is an 800 watt.

Finally, there is a pile of sauerkraut. I didn't like sauerkraut until I went to the Czech Republic. The stuff I had before was either from metal cans or what you find in the meat department at the grocery store, all of which tasted pungent in a bad way and looked unappetizing. Sauerkraut in Prague was different wherever you went, and sometimes included the Bavarian variety which is awesome.

I haven't found the gumption..er..motivation to make my own Central European-style sauerkraut, so I've been buying Silver Floss brand sauerkraut in glass jars since 2006. The Bavarian style is good, but I can't seem to find it in stores anymore. The glass jars do have preservatives other than salt unlike the cans that just have salt at the preservative - FYI.

Pairs Well With:

My ability to speak Czech was limited to saying "beer" and saying "thank you," so I never inquired as to the different beers available in bars. Most bars served Pilsner Urquell, which is a pale lager, and so I had Pilsner Urquell with my fried cheese when I ordered both fried cheese and beer. You can get it in the U.S. in bottles, though I've never tried drinking it here. A locally-brewed IPA would be excellent. Anything pale.

Coca-Cola is a world-wide favorite and goes great with fried cheese of various cuisines. This is what we had this evening.

Czech people seemed to like sparkling water. Mattoni is a popular brand. It's like Perrier, only the water is sourced from the Czech Republic instead of France. I haven't seen it here. Eh, anyway, sparkling water works.

The Cost
Edam: $5.00 for two servings
Potatoes: $3.00 for 2 pounds
Cucumbers: $0.80 for two
Tomatoes: free, but usually $2.00 for a pint of the grape ones
Sauerkraut: $1.59 for a small jar
Water, garlic, oil, salt, pepper, dried onion: no clue, guessing $2.00 as I did use a lot of oil.
Coca-Cola: $1.25 for 2 liters, on sale, did not drink whole thing though

Total for two people: a little over $14.00, not counting the Coca-Cola

The Verdict
Cheaper than going out to eat, tasted good, nice of change of pace, and pretty straightforward to make.

There were significant salad, sauerkraut, and potato leftovers, which could pretty easily turn into a different meal featuring tonight's sides with veggie Italian sausage. The cheese was the most costly part of the meal in terms of number served.

Will I make it again? Hell yes! Not that often, though. It's expensive, and most importantly, I'm sure my heart is weeping for mercy right now.

What Possesed Me To Do This

I spent the last five days in the South visiting family, who did not allow me to do anything in the kitchen other than pour Coca-Cola into glasses. My aunt has a Costco membership, and she buys mass quantities of fruit there on a regular basis. For whatever reason, the Costco in my neck of the woods has some of the most vile produce you can buy in the U.S.

The fare at this aunt's house is I guess what you could call Southern Fusion. She incorporates Southern-style cooking with just about everything she goods, and it's awesome. Angel Biscuits with English-style potato soup and a side of my great-grandmother's caramelized pear recipe...sigh.

I got back into my cold, upper-Midwestern state two hours ago, and I am hungry. We didn't go shopping last weekend knowing that we would be gone. We drove, which was Hell. My ankles are swollen and nasty looking, despite all of the breaks to walk around and such.

Oh yeah, that brings me to the point: I've had wicked joint pain for seven months now for reasons that seem to only can be explained by autoimmune. And by joint I mean fingers, thumbs, wrists, elbows, knees on joint line, ankles, and toes. The pain isn't well-controlled at the moment, which is another post entirely...

Anyway, my ability to do cool stuff like laundry and cook real food is limited. Maybe my tolerance for looking up tips on autoimmune living is too limited to find anything I would like to know, but there is a lot of "Fight the disorder!" cheerleader stuff and I'm not at a point where I feel it would be helpful. Not so cheerleaderish - I actively work on keeping my thoughts on life existential versus suicidal and nihilistic. It's been a process that started ten years ago, prior to all of this pain business.

At the moment, I want food how-to information. I know there's a cook out there with Rheumatoid Arthritis who has some books, but I'm too tired to do her stuff, man. Plus I don't eat meat.

As I find and figure out things, I will be posting. Non-food tips may be included as well if they seem interesting.

Off to raid the cupboards...